Finally....a second post

Not that this should be a shock to my children or any of my other close friends who know how computer illiterate I am.....but it took a awhile to figure out how to get back to here to create a new post!!!

So here I am a month later........

My three younger children have not only started a new school year, but they are doing well. The two older ones are struggling a bit....and whining a lot - as only 14 and 15 year olds can do - as they are adjusting to both pre AP classes and changing from block scheduling to 7 period days - all in the same year! Truly, my heart goes out to them. But I can't tell them that.....it would be an excuse to fail. But how proud I am of them to have stepped up to the plate and made it through their first progress reports with A averages!!! For anyone reading this who is a student,(ya right) you have to understand......your parents are so proud of you, but know they can't tell you every second for fear you'll take that as permission to ease back and not reach your full potential! So, from your parents you will hear, "OK...that's good, but you can push and try a little more....now can't you?"

Tonight, the child who is wired genetically closest to me, really hurt my feelings. I EXPECT that from the others. But this one.........????? Oh crap. Who am I kidding? The one most like me would know best what buttons to push!!! As a parent, I try to insulate myself from "attacks." But sometimes, they find that achilies heel and I bleed. He declared his fatal embarrassment over the vehicle that I drive.

Maybe that sounds trivial to most. But you have to understand that I when I got divorced, I put my career and life on hold, to be with them. God knows that they needed one parent who could be there for them! If I was going to say my children were my priority, then dang it, I needed to live my life as if they were. So there haven't been new cars...let alone luxery vehicles parked in our driveway.

Instead, I drive a full size conversion van. Mind you...it's got all the bells and whistles. All leather interior, surround sound, with game connections, a tv, stereo, etc. And that van has taken us accross the country and back....even to sit in a First Lady's favorite chair at the White House.....and to see Mickey not less than 5 times! And that vehicle allows us to take a dozen kids to festivals and birthday parties, and all of our luggage to board a cruise ship, where we could afford the largest suite because I didn't have a $500 a month car note!!!

But for some reason the van embarressed this early teen. I guess it didn't quite cut it in today's materialistic "bling-bling" society. Yet I'm sure that the other kids that teased my son have yet to be out of the state of Texas. Go figure.

I cried and I cried......and with the help of a wise and loving friend, I realized that the lesson I am teaching - and the life I am giving my chilren - by not leasing a BMW - is a lesson they will understand later in life. And as the parent, I will have to just have to wait to see the light bulb go off. More importantly, when they are adults, I hope they will chose... just as I have.....living over status symbol every time.

So how sad is this. I have not posted in a couple of weeks because I was too proud to admit that I didn't know how to re-locate the site that lets me post something new. I finally bit my lip and swallowed a full cup of humility and asked my wonderful, adult duaghter how to do this. And I have a graduate degeree!!!

And now, I am in the middle of cooking dinner and helping children with homework, so I will definately post again soon~

Firsts

This is the first moment of another first. I am creating a blog. To be honest, two years ago, I didn't have a clue what a blog was. They kept throwing the term around in the '04 elections, but I didn't really pay attention....I was too busy caring about the outcome of the election. I was not concerned one bit what a blog was, let alone what someone might be saying about the election on one. After all, blogs didn't vote. Then they started mentioning blogs on CNN...even gave them their own segment. So I asked my adult daughter and she tried for several months to help me comprehend it.....but like so much of her generation's technology, the information she tried to share with me might as well have been in Latin and my eyes glazed over as I concluded this was something I didn't need to know. But when my daughter moved to California and created her own blog, and I was privaledged to be told how to find it, and I soon realized that it was merely a diary on line. Now how strange is that? Back in the 60's (yes I'm that old), my diary was so personal and sacred that I would hide it in places so secret and remote, that I'd forget where I hid it! I'm sure that some land developer in the suburbs of Chicago found at least one tattered tome of a ten year old, along a creekbed, beneath a rock or in a tree stump. A blog is out there, for the world to see.....on purpose! So with that in mind, I had to question why, as I approach 48, I would want to write my thoughts for strangers to read?????? Hmmmmm.... I guess it has to do with the name of my blog. I have the most incredible four children, and while I may know it, I want the world to know it....and I want the world to know that I know it too....along with what its been like to be their mom. Its been a long and often bizarre journey to 08/05/06 for me....and I am in awe that through (and in spite of)that journey, my children are the people that they are. Three of my four children still live at home. So posting will most likely be irregular. Then again, posting could turn out to be free therapy. It'll just drive the rest of you nuts. But tonight is the first, of what I hope to be many, cyber public statements of love and admiration for my children. So to the true loves of my life, your mom loves you, and this is dedicated to you....the souls that you are today and will grow to become in all of your tomorrows.